peekingoutdcloset

good day...

2011-02-16T19:39:00.000+08:00

ROFL! can you actually believe it i slept at like 1 am then got up at 3.30 then when back to sleep at 4 and got up at 5 and could not sleep that i sat down and meditated.. Which is so not me... i mean me and meditating like seas apart but i really did not know what to do at 5 am in the morning and insomnia is really killing me, i am like having problem sleeping and even if i do sleep i wake up like a zillion times in between.. no wonder i am cranky... rofl...

anyway so yeah today day been rather a good day for me.. i had fun at work, actually people i work with are bunch of funny people.. and i like the fact that they are accepting me for who i am ... but of course to just irritate me arfan loves to call me beautiful instead of handsome just to make me go berserk.. rofl.. but all is well all that said.. the thing we do.. tickles me till now! They are bunch of supportive people especially when it come to sales, they hear you out when your in pain. Help me when i need to be brought back to earth.. well i guess i am liking me working mates already :D

buven 2011

yes i am gay? you have a problem with it?

2011-02-15T18:11:00.000+08:00

Ok yeah finally writing about the real me , yes i am gay and i am proud of it and if your to blind to see it i ain't can't help you with it! But you know being gay is ain't that easy especially here in this country. People look at you as if you have some kind of rabies.. hello people we are still human, we still function exactly just like you we walk , talk eat, sleep just like any human its just that our sexual preferences are different.

Just because we love the same kind that does not mean we cant be friends.. cos i have good "straight" friends and they treat me all the same even though they know i am gay and yes they are close to me and yes they stand close to me and not shun me.. so yeah i think people out there should learn and start treating gay people with much love and respect!

And there is ain't nothing with same sex relationship its the same .. all the same.. all u need is trust love and understanding.. basic function of an relationship :) :)

buven 2011

whats the issue ?

2011-02-15T17:51:00.000+08:00

So yeah i skip a few days of blogging, been up tight with stuff.. Anyway, i am so lost on thought that i barely remember what i did last 5 mins ago.. am i growing old or am i just ignoring the world around me.. which could it be.. Well they did not simply say as you age problem increases especially when your force to take commitment that you actually don't have to..

I mean being the youngest and the easiest to attack that does not give all the rights to point finger at me especially when i keep quiet all the time not retaliating back to all their wimp and fancies. I keep away try to please all but most of the time i end up getting myself hurt.

Each day i wake up hoping my day would be a better one.. But it seems everything that i do is aint sufficient and everything i care for most of the time... hurt me...oh well i am going speechless of this matter until i have thought of ending it all for once and for all, maybe when i am gone for good people would realize what they actually have done that maybe in future someone else would be spared such treatment!

Buven 2011.

fucking sick!

2011-02-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

so yeah hell yeah been sick for fucking gonna be 3 weeks, all the med i took not helping me at all so what he fuck is actually wrong with me? Why oh my is my tummy burning like hell that if it does not stop burning it might start smoking up!
Seriously wtf is so fucking wrong with ma stomach! i thought i was clear of all this.. wanna say i been drinking alot nope been ages since i met mr liqour or beer.. then what is the problem with my stomachhhhhh!! grrrrr seriously pissing me of!! grrrrr rrrrrr rrrrr...

nervous breakdowns

2011-02-08T09:28:00.001+08:00

Okay let's see so what the deal about nervous breakdowns...seriously it's nothing when you get it once in a blue moon, but when. You start getting it every other day in a life span of 2 weeks plus and about 3 breakdowns in a day it is freaky... So what is actually causing this breakdowns...hmmmmm , see this is the problem I have no idea what.. I jut can't seem to understand what is actually bothering me...but what ever it is, it's causing me to loose my sleep .. I get up all of a sudden wee hours in the morning...fearing something not knowing what.. When I sit I start shivering or deja vu's start flocking in.. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with me? ArgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhBuven 2011

Back again

2011-02-06T18:18:00.000+08:00

Been almost a year since i have blog but this time i finally think i should or else i will kill myself each day not being able to talk to anyone! I am beginning to blog again to tell the world how hard it was for me to come out for who i really am and the journey i face and the people i meet over the journey!

For all to know 2010 has been a rather bad year for me there were so many downs that i could actually count my up which was none! 2010 has been the worse year i could have ever encountered in my whole entire life, all i could remember of 2010 is sadness, hatred, anger, giving up hope, despair, heartache and all that you can think of. 2010 taught me who were my true friends, who were really there for me, how i am taken for granted most of the time, how just because i keep quiet people think i am stupid.

Well all this has taught me to be stronger but yet at times i cant help but fail to get hurt with a lot of things where at times i hope each time i close my eyes the problem disappear but nope it never will, if only it was that easy. I would have had a better life if it was so :).

Anyway after this all my post to come would be personal and how life has changed over the years. I am basically going to right about my past present and maybe the future! so till then chiozzz

Frustration!!!

2010-01-27T20:38:00.002+08:00

I has been a really hell of a week...just lost two most important people in my life due to certain irresponsible parties...Life has not been tough since then and i dearly miss them both.. I dont even know how they are both take care of ..have they eaten. have they slept well, are they traumetized it is killing me deeply to think of this...I miss them dearly. Is there really a god i question.. and if there why does this have to happen...Mishaps after mishaps..Give me an answer to my question do you really exist or do you exist only for people who are literary mean and heartless.. how could you punish people who have prayed to you all your life even when you took their child away they had hope on you and now you take away more from there.. i seriously think your just an Iilusion to those who want to believe as you never showed mercy to any one of us except to give us misery by misery....Proof to me i am wrong and i would re change my post till then i dont think you exist....

harry potter 6

2009-07-18T17:37:00.002+08:00

When i found out harry potter was so coming out i was super excited with so much of enthusiasm and hope that the movie would be good... so when the movie came out i when with my friends to watch it on the 16th itself... so i sat myself in the theater to watch the movie..

Okie the begining started of and i was trying to figureout what was actually happening then i realize that is movie so going to be not up to what i actually expected to be truthful i think it is waste of money and time to be watched in the theater. there is nothing to it the plot is all hanging the story did not have any proper sequence i nearly doozed out at one point..

i am trying to figure out when ginny and harry got to gether and whats with the shoe lace tieing that is so unromantic and wtf try to be abit more imaginative than that...as for the spider how how did aragog die...gosh so many fault in the movie if u ask me i would say dont waste ur time watching it read the book and let your imagination do draw the images you probably enjoy that more than the movie itself..so peeps if ur gona watch harry potter 6 in the theater think again ...chiozzz

awake at 3 am..

2009-07-14T03:18:00.003+08:00

okie what am i doing awake at 3 am simple i am trying hard to complete my dam resume haizzz..it such headache doing a resume especially wheni feel i have done nothing in my life...i spend uncontable days and time and god knows what to do a 4 page resume sweat....

all those details, academic qualification which i spent 3 years earning it.....the curicular activities, skills, the refereee what the so many thing cnt they just give a job with out all this in a nother few years all this are just papers and people start looking at your exprience haizzzz.....

as for my pic for the resume i look so pathetic gosh ...have a look ur self how i look i think i look better in my other photos..i look so wanted here...gosh what am i to say...

n now i have to wait till the photo is uploaded.. and here goes the photo

so what u think dont you think i look pathetic...i look so senget and gosh i look like i am about to sleep...so do u think i wud be employed with this look i am not sure haizzzz well i wanna sleep now and tomorrow is another DAY i mean today is another day...good nites evione....byebye

starbucks kota raya

2009-07-12T17:32:00.002+08:00

Finally after such a long time i have decided to blog....and also after a few messages from trina to start blogging here i am.... today has been rather a happy day for me after such a long time i met someone i like....and i call it sheer luck...after meeting up with that person now i am here in starbuck wasting precious time waiting for ann and for my bus back to malacca at 6.30...

Okay reason of blogging today to let out some frustration..as many would have know i should be having a job in hand right now and should be in penang by the beach sipping on my beer but where am i now stuck here blogging all because of certain stupid reason for the project not being able to start of. So whats the result of it i am Jobless and i dont have and idea on what i am going to do but one thing i know is that if i dont get a job soon i am way beyond the word doom....

At the same time i am being to lazy to search for a job reason being to long of a holiday which actually made me feel stupid and probably made me stupid.... and falling sick for a week at on to the laziness...muahahahaha...okie wondering what i did for that almost two months of holidays...i did it all sleep eat, hang out,karaokeing, lepaking name it all i have done...which if i am hard working enough will fill u all in about my 2 months of holidays...heheheheh

i guess i got to go now as in awhile more i would be boarding my bus back to malacca so i will continue my blogging later on once i have done job searching and resume doing...muahahahahah chiozzz asta lavista...

from the eye of Buvy

2009-04-22T21:55:00.002+08:00

okay i have not blog for sometime now and i been so busy and hooked up with things that i did not really bother to take the initiative to blog...things have not been turning out well eversince my last blog after the nuffnang...happenings in my life made me realize certain things and also add on to my life database of people charaters and their kinds...be it family, friend or foe all have their own set of mind and characters.

i grew up being thought to be humble and nice and today i practice it but i realize doing so has actually ended me in a bigger dilemma in life. my biggest mistake is to be who i am and what i am, i am so lost that i have no idea what to do. one thing i know is true friend stand by you at times of need and those who dont well i have nothing to say.

we give as much as we can but then we cant force people into anything..people make mistake some are not mistake but it is seen as one...some are done intentionally and some unintentionaly...i have done mistakes i do not deny some i can bravely say it is not mistakes as i am merely human and i aint a saint..if i was a saint i wont be here blogging but instead being worshipped....

i just wanna say i am sorry if i have caused hurt or misunderstanding and thank you for being there in my life once....take good care of yourself and may the future be bright...

i realize i have to go in search of my self and for my inner peace.....while i am doing so if i am crude or rude or someone you dont know i am sorry before hand....

buvy

Nuffnang Music Bash

2009-04-04T22:09:00.003+08:00

After a few of hous of comtempleting on whether to come for the bash i finaly made my mind and i have no single regret..Nuffnang music bash was cool had real fun....and like the mc(the way he presented himself and keeping the crowd happy.)well got to say thanks to dookie for talking me into blogging or i would dare to say i would have missed one of the coolest party in town.....Thanks dookie....:p..

well here's for the music bash..i would like to congrulate bob marley for the best impersonator...you rock man...rastaman.....:D and lady gaga....you rock to well done....and keep up the good work...well thats all for now...got to go and shake some booty and wait up for more blogs on nuffnang maxis broadband music bash...

astalavista...

A week of terror

2009-03-29T17:13:00.002+08:00

hmmm.. after such a long week of drama and hecticness finally i am bek to blogging..before i start i would like to thanks nuffnang for the invitation to the music bash..i am so looking for it and meet other celebrity just like my self...:D and thanks to nuffnang to i can bring along my buddy..so i ams ure prinsezzz, puff. still loking for the third person and me are going to have so much of fun....:P okie back to the week gosh it has really been like a seriously hectic week and so many things happened that i nearly had a breakdown but hahaha to bad i did not... i was sick and i had so much to do from assignments to other works that i lost track of time and ......
anyway...seriously dont wanna right much for now...wait up for my next post and i will keep u all updated....byeeeeeeeeee

‘I’m a Musicon Celebrity Thanks to Maxis Broadband’

2009-03-21T17:41:00.004+08:00

Well, I'm not sure about this coz I'm still a new fish in the blogger world but I'm eager to get in the funk with all this partying. So here's my post for Music Bash 2009.

One of the most celebrity photo that I took of myself while cam whoring gotta be this...

and also this...

the reason why i feel like a celeb in this photo because it shows my confidence and my i am so cool look....
other than that it also shows how i can actually charm ppl with my looks
....i my say my looks and my smile is my prize possession....

to get in the party i'm required to talk about how I wanna be treated if i am a celebrity. Hmmm~ How could I put this in words?

Well, if i am a celebrity I would like to make the world a better place. I know this is not a beauty pageant but yea why not?
why does being a celeb always has to mean being pampered i think it is time i did the papmpering for people who need it....
so if I was someone well known and this makes it easier for me to make
the world a better place to live in. I could represent and tell
everyone to even stop wars...be an opinion leaders on issue such
as violence against women and animal cruelty..
i can create a new trend which allows me to be the father of the
new celeb era....

And on how I wanna be treated...i just wanna be treated like a normal person. everyone wants to be worshipped but not me...
letting me be normal is like worshipping me already i believe every one is a celeb
i don't wanna be streotyped. I just wanna be a normal celebrity that everyone loves because of who i am.

For the party i know i was supposed to be dressed as a musician celebrity but...hmm~ i couldn' tink of any. So i've decided
that i'm going as... ahahah here's the catch it is for u to find out if i'm invited. Let's just say i'm going as someone not so serious but sings "better in time" at the same time. Woots!

hopefully nuffnang would give me the invitation and I could go and party with all the other fellow bloggers which includes my bestie prinsezz (haha~).

so see you guys there!!!

day 2

2009-03-18T03:14:00.004+08:00

...well hw shall i start this blog..today has been a rather tiring day for me.. a handfull of classes and to add on photo taking for graduation....so the day started of with me being pissed that my hair dryer spoiled so there goes my hair styling achine haizzz what a bad day i thought...but i was wrong today can be considered a fruitful one...i took alot of pictures today with my new hair do i just had to cam whore....have i mentioned i am in love with my hairstyle.... okie okie let get down with some pic showing.....

well what shall i say about the pic above this are one of the rare moments where i actually looked formal...after taking this picture for my graduation photo shoot ...eu jeen, me and chailing decided to have an early dinner so we shoot of to a healthy food shop in millenium square..there eu jeen and i could not stop but to cam whore....gosh the amount of pic we took seriously to think of it we were crazzy ...after dinner we came up with the most crazziest plan which was lets go to taman paramount and snap picture and so we when..... below will be the pic we took during our conquest of photo taking....

this picture was taken in taman paramount....just me as usual cam whoring...
just we three stooges goofing around after photo shoot...
okie this pic was taken when we were waiting for our food....

okie now just to let ou know why i like my hair...fisrt i think i look good...2. after such a long time a new hair do....3rd...i have a blend of beckam and goku hair do..not that i ama fan of beckam but yeah i just love my hair do...lolz......and thanks so much to those who said my hair was nice....thank thank you...well thats all for now....time to go of to lala land...nites......

Thanks to dookie

2009-03-16T23:20:00.006+08:00

After such a long time...finally i am blogging again..all thanks to dookie...i know that is abit weird to blog out of no where and seriously i am not sure what to blog about..but today i can actually say i had a rather funny day.. I was woken up from my sleep by this stupid secirity alarm of my aunts neighbour at 5.30 am and the alarm continued till well god knows when...so there goes my beauty sleep....then i came back to my sanctuary me home that i pay for and rarely stay and got a call from eu jeen..pheww atleast he called i thought...(kinda had a lil misunderstanding lah...)anyway he said lets go brickfields and i was okie sure but what for..mana tau he said lets go have thosai...so the journey begun from there....we when to brickfields had the veetu(home) thosai and i had coffe with it.

After that we rushed back for a class at 12 pm..right after the class eu jeen said lets go get a hair cut cos tomorrow got photo taking for graduation and i told him i am quite fussy and he said no worries...so we when and guess what i got my hair cut...feel a lot lighter now and i have some what like dragon ballz hair...lolz....hidup goku....welll before i got this goku cut the dude who cut my hair did some kind of wonders which made me look god i really dunno how to explain it in words...reminded me of the last hair cut that was screwed....yewww...

After the hair cut we when back for another class...then i convinced eu jeen to bring me to get a new jeans and also to the mph sales in mayang...so we got into the car....when we were in the car suddenly out of no where i say a lizard and freak out..you see i hate lizards alot and i freak out when i see them and all eu jeen did was laugh at me...cos he never saw me freak out that way all this year he knows me....then we tried searching for the lizard....but could not find it..then we when to the mph sales.....goodness the amount of books there sure wont fit into my house begitu banyak...lolz....so we when searching books and i bought a flash card for my baby nephew and niece and got my self a book on aura readings...then we when to tropican mall...well the mall is not that great emind me of most of the mall but not to bad lah..when to get my self a jeans....need it for tomorrow's photo shot....lolz....so we when around and eu jeensay a book he wanted to by at the mph sales in borders and insisted he buys it...so we drove back to the mph sales which let me tell you was close but somehow he manage to get it....god thats what we say skills...lols...right after that we had dinner and i had penang appam which taste yummy licious....and i do not mind trying it again.....

we got back home the whole time i was in the car the stupid lizard was freaking me out....gosh...... so after all this finally i reach home at 9 plus all tired and sticky... i decided to take a bath i put my phone on the charger and turned it on and founf 16 miss call....hahaha i thought i am so dead mum tried calling so i called back and found out the were so worried i was missing..lolz......after talking to mum took my shower and sat on my pc and now i am blogging all thanks to dookie....she said i should start now so they all will be bale to know what is happening to me when i leave the country sooner or later....so that the end for todays blog i guess catch up more tomorrow byebye...

shareen cheche

2008-10-06T13:47:00.006+08:00

A sister i use to have someone i loved and still love alot..Its going to be two months since you have left and i feel completely lost. I still believe your around just that you have gone somewhere i would never be able to reach you. It has been hard trying to live with the fact that your not around that i have decided to not think at all. Cheche(sister) you are one wonderful person i have met. Noone can ever replace you. I am gifted to have you as a sister. Never does a day go by without me remembering the memories we had together. Memories that i would never ever erase and memories that will remain in me till the day i pass on and meet you in the other world. Your one person who made me feel important and gave me courage to do what i want, you always taught me to stand up for myself and not to be stepped all over. I remember the time when i was sick and you were there for me despite you being sick and suffering in pain. You gave countless amount of love that i do not know how to repay it to you. I was and always am proud to have you as a sister. To list down the memories i have had with you it will take me a whole year and more then a page to write it all down. All i want to say it that i love you alot and i miss you alot day by day. I just cant believe that you have left for good and never to come back. I am missing the smile, the way you sat tsk tsk, and the way you say alot of other things. Shareen cheche I love you and i miss you alot. Someday i am sure we will meet again and i am counting the days. Till then i would do my duty here in this world and as i promise i would be here for the babies through thick or thin. Take care cheche hope you're happy where ever you are now. Send my regards to all there to. We shall unite agin one day.

(buvy)