Frustration!!!

I has been a really hell of a week...just lost two most important people in my life due to certain irresponsible parties...Life has not been tough since then and i dearly miss them both.. I dont even know how they are both take care of ..have they eaten. have they slept well, are they traumetized it is killing me deeply to think of this...I miss them dearly. Is there really a god i question.. and if there why does this have to happen...Mishaps after mishaps..Give me an answer to my question do you really exist or do you exist only for people who are literary mean and heartless.. how could you punish people who have prayed to you all your life even when you took their child away they had hope on you and now you take away more from there.. i seriously think your just an Iilusion to those who want to believe as you never showed mercy to any one of us except to give us misery by misery....Proof to me i am wrong and i would re change my post till then i dont think you exist....